Coming together...

I was reading through an article which was publish in The Sunday Times on Aug 31, 2008. Its titile is 'Start them young'. The article started as a reflection on Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's National Day Rally speech and the writer Ignatius Low decided to talk about something more 'upstream' then making babies and that is to fall in love and get married.

The reason why I decided to blog on this article is because it closely relates to the idea of relational formation. As in my lectures, I've learnt that relational formation depends on physical appearance alot in the early stages of a relationship.

Ignatius Low wrote from a first party point of view, "I was a willowy boy who was all long hair, buck teeth and thick glasses." He moved on to saying how he dreaded lessons which he has to come into contact with girls as he "felt like such a wallflower" and "did not have the wit or charm that seemed to come easily to the more good-looking boys." Next in the article, he wrote, "Then one day, the girls finally turned their attention on me." The girls passed a note to him which read: "you really, really should comb your hair!"

The article goes on, and is really interesting to read. However, the main point here is that physical appearance has indeed the biggest impact in the early stages of a relationship. In this case,"I" in the article did not have the best of looks, but was "horribly nerdy" hence, he was labeled as totally unattractive to the opposite sex.

Fortunately for him he was forced into a situation to overcome his inhibitions when he switched from a pure science to a humanities course in junior college. He eventually learnt to co-exist with girls, befriend them and later date them. This shows that the impact of physical appearance diminish over the course of a relationship. As two parties get to know each other better, the inner beauty of a person overrides the importance of outer appearance.

As Ignatius Low continued on writing about his reflections, he suggested that why not make it compulsory for all university students to live in mixed student quarters and whithin close range of the opposition sex for at least one year? I believe his suggestion was based on the idea of proximity. One tend to form relationships with the people around them as there is greater opportunity for interaction.

Romancing Singpaore festival was started by the government in the year 2002 but subsequently became a private sector in the year 2005. The aim for this festival is to convey the message that "Love is the little things" and serves as a gentle reminder to all of us in a relationship to appreciate the little things that we do together or do for each other count for a lot.

The government has painstakingly taken the effort to set up Romancing Singapore to help couples in love and singles to find love. However, the biggest effort needed is from the people who are in the relationship. How they go about maintaing their relationship plays the biggest role in whether a relationship works or not.

Rosli Mansor "Dragged"

It is known that there are many types of nonverbal communication and they can be applied in almost every situation. I was looking through some photos taken from an artist's album launch and I spotted some quite interesting nonverbal communication cues from those pictures.



From this photo, it can be seen, that artist, Rosli Mansor was smiling very brightly when he was signing autographs for his fans. This is a form of kinesics; affect display, for his display of emotions was mainly facial expression. Just by using a very sincere smile, Rosli managed to bring across his message of gratitude for his fans support.







Of course, nonverbal communication does not always occur one at a moment. Within an action or situation, there might be more than one type of nonverbal communication cue displayed simultaneously. Just as seen in the photo on the right, Rosli is shaking his fans hands; effectively using haptics (study of touch in communication) to establish the artist- fan relationship between both of them. It is to diminish the idea of an artist being somewhere faraway and untouchable. Hence to say, the use of touch drew them together.
In addition, the artist used oculesics (study of nonverbal meaning associated with the eyes) to show how he treats his fans with importance. He had direct eye contact with his fan which symbolised attention and respect. This would also increase positive association between them.

This is a group photo of Rosli and his fans holding to his posters, Rosli Mansor "Dragged". These posters are objects which are representation of the artist Rosli and his album "Dragged". To a certain extent, tangible objects are influential to our decisions, and by using objects to convey non-verbal messages, Rosli have created a certain kind of personal identity and status of him and his music. Therefore, it can be seen that nonverbal communication cues can be extended to the artifacts around us and not just facial or body language.
The use of space (proxemics) and the arrangement of this photo also convey the different status among all of them. Rosli, being situated in the center shows that he has a higher status as compared to his fans and that he is the bond among the rest of the people. Besides, he is the main focus point of attention, the star.

Based on all the little bits of nonverbal communication cues I get from the above photos, I draw the conclusion based on closure (an organisational principle) and my past experiences with him that Rosli Mansor is a very good musician with endless number of fans but never let the fame get into him as he still treat everyone with respect.

All photos taken from Rosli Mansor album launch "Dragged". Many thanks to Rosli Mansor and management for allowing me to use their photos.

Get the LOOK

I was reading the Friday's issue, September 12 2008, of The Straits Times, Urban newspaper and I was pondering upon the very striking heading "GET THE LOOK".

How do you define the "LOOK"? Apparently, the media's idea of getting the look is to pile someone up with lots of make-up, powder and colours. As published in this issue of the newspaper, the article "All Fall In", the media teaches their readers how to brush up on their brows, giving them tips on how to use plum mascara for a sultry effect, and how you can contrast last year's statment of fuschia pink with this year's eye-popper; a splash of lime green. I wouldn't think that knowing all these fashion tips give you the look. Rather, it's how you view it. As learnt in COM 101, prototypes differ between individuals. To some, it seems important to conform to the society's view of beauty as they want to be labelled as 'cool' or belong to the 'in' crowd. Nevertheless, it doesn't apply to everyone. Essentially, it all boils down to how one order, arrange and differentiate informations.

As we can all see, media is one of the most powerful source of communication. See how it works, a fashion statment is being made, models excute the statement, brands and labels carry out the mission, and consumers follow suit. All these wouldn't have been possible if there were no advertisments or media reports. Media plays such an important role in our life that we as readers tend to take their word for it.

Have you come across people who are followers of the latest fashion trend? They get so engrossed in reading beauty magazines and newspaper articles that talk about the latest make-up product or the most chic dress available. It is because the media is blowing up the idea of "make-up, else you do NOT have the look", hence readers start doubting themselves and conform to the society's standard of beauty. Can I safely say that these are the people who wants to be linked to the group of the "Most Fashionable" and not be outcast? Would I then be right to conclude that the followers simply want to share the same attributes as the "Fashionable" group and conveniently blend in the group by similarity?

Well, or am I simply drawing conclusions based on my perception and bits of information that I have? As in human nature, closure is influenced mainly by ones perceptual tendencies. Whatever it may be, please advice.

Yellow Ribbon Project

As we travel in the MRT trains, we see the advertising posters in the interior of its cabin. And very often, we might come across the posters of the Yellow Ribbon Project.

I've learnt in my lectures, communication is symbolic. Similarly, the Yellow Ribbon is symbolic of a very significant purpose. It's about giving the ex-offenders a 2nd chance in life.

It is human nature to err. No one is perfect and everyone make mistakes in some time of their life. These ex-offenders took a wrong turn in life and they have received their punishment by accepting jail-term. All they wish for after their release is to lead a normal life again. I believe there are many who sincerely wish to change. However, they face with many challenges and obstacles.

Very often, ex-convicts are turned away from job opportunities as soon as their past records are revealed. I believe it's so in this case because employers tend to stereotype. They aren't willing to accept or employ ex-offenders as they feel that they might err again. This is a prejudice against this group of people. Employers view them from their perception and jump to conclusion hence the 'biasness' towards ex-offenders. It's similar to the social constructionist perspective. as cognitive customs is all about how we process information and how we jump to conclusions.

Whatever reasons it may be for anyone's prejudice, I hope that the Yellow Ribbon Project would change the mindset of these people and support the ex-offenders and their families in leading a normal life again.

"Although they have made a mistake in life, they deserve a second chance. We all make mistakes, we all come out the better for it." President SR Nathan.

This quote from our President basically sums up all that needs to be said about the Yellow Ribbon Project.

"OUR CROSSROADS", YELLO RIBBON JOURNEY EXHIBITION (Fri- Sun, 12-14 September at Marina Square, Central Atrium, 11am - 9pm)

Please support the Yellow Ribbon Project!