08. Its titile is 'Start them young'. The article started as a reflection on Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's National Day Rally speech and the writer Ignatius Low decided to talk about something more 'upstream' then making babies and that is to fall in love and get married.The reason why I decided to blog on this article is because it closely relates to the idea of relational formation. As in my lectures, I've learnt that relational formation depends on physical appearance alot in the early stages of a relationship.
Ignatius Low wrote from a first party point of view, "I was a willowy boy who was all long hair, buck teeth and thick glasses." He moved on to saying how he dreaded lessons which he has to come into contact with girls as he "felt like such a wallflower" and "did not have the wit or charm that seemed to come easily to the more good-looking boys." Next in the article, he wrote, "Then one day, the girls finally turned their attention on me." The girls passed a note to him which read: "you really, really should comb your hair!"
The article goes on, and is really interesting to read. However, the main point here is that physical appearance has indeed the biggest impact in the early stages of a relationship. In this case,"I" in the article did not have the best of looks, but was "horribly nerdy" hence, he was labeled as totally unattractive to the opposite sex.
Fortunately for him he was forced into a situation to overcome his inhibitions when he switched from a pure science to a humanities course in junior college. He eventually learnt to co-exist
with girls, befriend them and later date them. This shows that the impact of physical appearance diminish over the course of a relationship. As two parties get to know each other better, the inner beauty of a person overrides the importance of outer appearance.
with girls, befriend them and later date them. This shows that the impact of physical appearance diminish over the course of a relationship. As two parties get to know each other better, the inner beauty of a person overrides the importance of outer appearance.As Ignatius Low continued on writing about his reflections, he suggested that why not make it compulsory for all university students to live in mixed student quarters and whithin close range of the opposition sex for at least one year? I believe his suggestion was based on the idea of proximity. One tend to form relationships with the people around them as there is greater opportunity for interaction.
Romancing Singpaore festival was started by the government in the year 2002 but subsequently became a priv
ate sector in the year 2005. The aim for this festival is to convey the message that "Love is the little things" and serves as a gentle reminder to all of us in a relationship to appreciate the little things that we do together or do for each other count for a lot.
ate sector in the year 2005. The aim for this festival is to convey the message that "Love is the little things" and serves as a gentle reminder to all of us in a relationship to appreciate the little things that we do together or do for each other count for a lot.The government has painstakingly taken the effort to set up Romancing Singapore to help couples in love and singles to find love. However, the biggest effort needed is from the people who are in the relationship. How they go about maintaing their relationship plays the biggest role in whether a relationship works or not.
14 comments:
Do we really need the Singapore government to create festivals to increase the number of couples? If so, how true is this interpersonal relationship going to be?
it is very true that physical appearances have an immense impact at the initial stages of a relationship. after all, we, as humans are attracted to all things pretty and pleasing to the eye aren't it. it is very superficial no doubt, but sadly that is the reality of life.
that brings us to proximity, with that, even when two person may be not physically attracted to each other, they have the opportunity to find out the inner beauty about each other and thus develop a relationship from there.
well, as for the government's effort, i think that has got to do with the declining birth rate of singapore. and in my personal opinion, i really feel that that is unnecessary as something as complex as love cannot be forced onto someone.
Hmm...seems like the government has been going through pain-stakingly efforts to increase the birth rates. I didn't know Singapore is so in need of creating generations. Well, it may help in increasing the number of couples but not necessarily the number of babies.
Nowadays, few women are actually willing to stay at home and bring up children. (Unlike ancient societies as stated in our UGC textbook, oh my!) Most women choose to have a successful career rather than having a handful of kids, even if their husbands are eligible enough to support the family. Besides, women are supposedly the ones who is responsible for taking care of the young. I think that the tough part would be the process of bringing kids up rather than having them. So perhaps more childcare centres is the solution to some couples, especially when both parents are working.
I strive to be 'horribly nerdy'. Could you hook me up with Ignatius Low?
Saudi Arabia has crude oil for export. Canada has gold as natural resources. What does Singapore have to offer the world? You.
Yes, you are the main resource of Singapore (aka Temasek Holdings). Once at a coherent age, they send you to school for enriching; a decade at least. when you're good enough to join the workforce, stay in Singapore and reap profits for Temasek Holdings. oh, and don't forget to make babies too so that when you die, you can be easily replaced.
sad life huh? but that's how the world works.
Growth rate dropping in Singapore? If that's true, it cannot be help as standard of living is getting higher every year. Thus more and more couples are less willingly to commit themselves. Although there's a lot of encouragement coming from the government, I guess it need some more time.
Bingo. Your last line, about how couples go about maintaining that relationship... that bond of love is the essence of the relationship that keeps 2 people together.
Proximity, like what Lucas has pointed out, allows for the opportunity to get to know someone better, and perhaps to fall into a love that transcends just good looks and stereotypes. But when people graduate, or move on from college, with the proximity gone, what couples go thru to stick together will be testament to their commitment to one another.
If young people are just encouraged to "get together", without any notion about what it means to be together with someone, or are plainly in it for the "fun", i guess the number of break-ups will only increase too, logically speaking.
I think it's alright for the government to be concerned.. they should have people crunching numbers and coming up with statistics that point to long term trends, so that any undesirable results may be averted. But yah, priorities for today's generations have changed... Career and material comfort is more of a priority than just settling down with a family.. If we're just gonna encourage people to have kids, yet not have these parents spending sufficient time and being prepared to bring these kids up properly, we're gonna have lots of social problems down the road (like within 1 or 2 decades).
Parents need to know what it means to have children, and not just be swayed by any of these government incentives. They should be just seen as that, as extra bonuses, and that the driving force behind having children.
I guess falling in love is different for everyone... we may try and create the environment, or even coach the youths, but when it happens, it happens! Furthermore, when couples move on from a created environment, can/will they stay together? I guess you can't fight fate for some things. =P
Love cannot be instilled by a mere campaign. It is something deeper and more complex than the normal campaign subject matters, say, preventing dengue or not drinking and driving. Moreover, it doesn't help that our fast-paced and modernised world is naturally disencouraging us from having kids. Most of us would rather focus on our careers or think children are a hassle. Or perhaps by the time we are ready to have kids, biologically we have passed that fertile stage already.
Anyways... If the government really wants to help, create a supporting environment for pregnant women and women with kids. What they're doing currently is apparently not enough to sway couples.
the government seems to be putting in much effort to encourage the whole idea of 'getting attached','getting married' and 'having children'. Yes, some of the new schemes,like the baby bonus is good. However, i think that more can be done to encourage couples,especially the younger ones. But it all boils down to the couple,how much they love each other and want to have a child who is a part of them and whether they have the ability to raise them. It is not just about the numbers..
Hello everyone.
You know the song LOVE by Nat King Cole? It goes like this.. "L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is very very extraordinary, E is even more than anyone that you adore can..."
What does the lyrics reflect? LOVE is something that cannot be explained! It have to be experienced.. Looks play an important part when it comes to first impression. But when it comes to true love, it does not matter even if you do not have the prettist face. Love is something so fascinating. So marvellous. So brilliant.
Three cheers to that! Go get your love today. I wish all you peeps true love. =)
Yours truly,
Maximus
Yes, I agree with all you people that love cannot be instilled by just a mere campaign. However, it allows people to take the first step. Two important factors for interpersonal relationship (relational formation stage) is similarity and proximity. Hence, the campaign allows people to find others who are likened to them, and with more opportunities to interact, feelings might develop between the couple.
That, I belive is the aim of Romancing Singapore.
The fundamental issue is not resolved by the Singapore Government. Rising cost of living, high risk or unemployment, stressful and rigid education system should be tackled at a system level.
No point for them trying to tweak the issue, for there is more than meets the eye, cause this is just the tip of the iceberg.
If only they can put their hands up and admit that they made a mistake with the whole system and rectify it, the only solution they have on hand with decreasing population is to continue with their "Foreign Talent" policy and relaxing citizenship rules.
Personally i am a person who goes for someone with inner beauty then outer.. because from what i learned almost 85% of the relationships out there are based on appearances and 70% of those relationships do not last long.
The sad truth in Singapore is that almost all the relationships i see now is people being together for the SAKE of being in a relationship. To have a handsome boyfriend or pretty girlfriend to show off to their friends. But most of the time when it boils down the the responsibility of being in a relationship or maintaining a marriage, you will see that is lacking GREATLY. Almost like those America Celebrities ... getting married to someone new almost every 3 - 6 months. Maybe singapore should cut off American television... it is causing most of this.
You can Love without sex and have sex without Love.
But when both combines,it becomes a magical experience.
The Singapore Government deserves credit in many respects for its success in nation building. Romancing Singapore in another governmental effort in ensuring the long-term survival of the country.
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